i fall in love when i was 17 years old to a boy name steven spaur he was someone different from the other guys i dated & i fall head over heels in love with him he made me feel feelings i never have experince in my life i have always dream of finding someone to give my heart away too we both became best friends and love having each other around to laugh with share stories with & to have fun but then he cheated on me & became someone totally different because he has bipolar causing him to be happy in love one minute then depressed & mean the next he broke my heart & hurt me countless times & i always took him back but what i didnt realize that what he was doing to me was making me depressed as well i always use to be a happy kind person but he made me into a hateful person & i dont like the person iam becoming & i can see myself becoming a very hateful person i dont want that at all & now i feel like the love we had is gone & i dont feel the same cause all the lies he has fed me & all the lonely nights he wasn't there for me when i needed him the most & all the tears i cried because of all the things he has done for me...I deserve to be respected not put down & feel less then a person..i'm just scared of falling for someone else & getting hurt all over again i built a wall around my heart because the thing about love is u fall so hard & so deeply & u hope to be with that person the rest of your life then they break your heart & the strong love u had turns into the worse pain that u could ever experince in your life...A pain so painful u never wanna feel again i just want my heart to be healed & be happy again it takes time but i need hope & faith that things will get better & some day i will find someone that deserves my love & treats me with respect.

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