this one holds my heart, this one can make me feel light when its dark, this one can make me feel dark when they are... i hate this one person having this hold on me, but i would hate to lose this hold too, it is what i truly look forward to in my days. i know it sounds cheezy, but its true, i'm addicted, and it isn't necessarily good.. see i think i'm the only one that feels this way, which is wrong anyways, i think i just need some time... well more time... its like i'm waiting for something that i wish so hard could happen, but then it would also be like a gamble, i could lose them or i would gain too much of them... i am not the love dovy type in the open, usually im the advise giver, not receiver, but so far my advise has not been helping me... i feel trapped in limbo, and either want to stay how it is but without this one having the hold on me, or i would like it to proceed... i only have a year and a half left with them for sure, i cant wait much longer... but i guess i'll just have to leave it up to god and fate,  because i am totally confused now. please help

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