Are you heading for a break up? Warning signs that your relationship may have outlived its use-by date.
By Justin Parfitt
Ending a relationship can be one of the most painful and humiliating experiences you can endure… When you have over a million questions flying through your mind: What could I have done differently? How did it get this bad? And of course, should I have seen this coming? The answer to this last question is YES, you should have seen it coming. Relationships have certain facets that fall apart leading up to the break up. Here are five classic signs of a relationship ready to crumble:
1. Asset Ownership
You used to share everything with each other, mind, body and soul, and now you can’t even share a meal without arguing over who paid for more, or who got the bigger half. When you’re in a relationship, the fine boundary between “mine” and “yours” is often dissipated. When the relationship starts to fall apart, people begin reclaiming what’s theirs in a very grabby, territorial way.
2. Word Ownership
The word “couple” means something that joins or links two separate things into one. Naturally, couples often think and act as one in many aspects of the relationship. The most obvious and psychologically important way that two people show the world they are one is by using unifying words such as “we,” “us,” and “our.” If those words suddenly turn into “I,” “me,” and “my,” you know you’ve got a problem. When this happens you are both making a stand, verbally and psychologically, at being independent and separate from the other. You are setting up for a break up.
3. Lack of conversation
When you get together, and ask “How was your day?” and the answer is “Fine”. When his or her friend stops by and asks “How was your day?” the answer is lively, excited and engaging… exactly the opposite of the response you were given. How could the same day give two completely different accounts? It can’t. But two different people can elicit differing responses. If your answers seem a little flat, it’s a sign that your significant other is no longer interested in sharing thoughts and ideas, and is no longer interested in including you in their life. It’s almost as though they were saying “there’s no point in telling you anything, when we won’t be together soon anyway.”
4. No Phone Calls
When you’re in a relationship, you usually talk to your significant other at least every second day, if not every day. When your relationship is breaking down, the number of calls dwindle down to the point where you wonder if you even have a boyfriend or girlfriend at all.
5. Negative & Overly Critical
You used to bring optimism and positivity into each other’s lives, and now you only seem to drag the other down. Do you notice that you fight over nothing? Nit picky over things that don’t matter? Critical and annoyed with each other over habits or behaviours that used to be endearing? It’s a sign that they’re upset over the relationship, and are taking it out on other aspects of life and each other.
About the author: Justin Parfitt is the CEO and Founder of International Singles Events Group FastLife International. FastLife hosts over 150 speed dating and singles events each month in 43 cities in 5 countries.