Mad Lover

after love...

well..whr shud i strt frm?
we read many stories wit the endin "and they lived happily everafter"..
but that "evrafter" will never be peaceful if there's no proper understandin bween two individuals...n we all know it...
well..my story..like everybody else's is a plain n common love story
wer'e collegemates..same age..
it all started out in dec 2007...wer'e doin our first yr of graduation then n i was barely 17 yrs old...
we were terrible enemies...we would have a great battle daily wit words...
couple of months later..we let go off our egos and became friends...
time passed...after a month..in some situation..i revealed about my terrible past( my ex cheated on me) n we were drawn too close to each other frm tht day...it was 10th feb'08. We talked fr almost 10 hours...6 hrs on net n 4 hrs over phone...
a long and sweet chat...abt my family, his family etc...
well...i frgt to mention one thing...we both r of different religions..and in India...inter-religion marriage is considered as some kindof crime by the society...so wer'e actually not SUPPOSED TO FALL IN LOVE.
both of us knw that.
wer'e nt supposed to love each other..but we bonded so quickly tht our hearts failed to listened to our hearts..
well...two months passed...we dint express our love openly but either of us knw wer'e in love...we were resisted by our "society"
den..he texted me smthng...accidently my mom saw it n made a hue n cry abt it..
as a consequence, my dad took away my cellphone...
for five months...we had contact...but very less contact...we wud talk almost entire day before...
5 months passed...i finally got my mobile back...
n i texted him..he ws so happy :) and so was i :)
again we used to text each other the entire day...(except fr the sleepin hours though :P)
then came d day...Oct 3rd...my most precious day...
we exchanged "i love you"s finally n vowed tht we would remain together no matter wht happens..
i said him...i love u but no committments...for 3-4 months we wer'e happy..
but one day my uncle saw me on his bike on our way to college...
n he told it to my mom...my mom crippled me emotionally and made me leave him...
he begged,pleaded,beseeched me not to leave him..i resisted fr few days but finally i got back to him..
we had this "religion" issue disturbin since beginning..and breakups patchups occurred frequently...
yet...wer'e together bcz of that strong , deep rooted love we have between us :)
wel...as a grl..am feelin shy..but we made love one day n it turned out to be a great disaster in mylife..i did get preg n it upset my parents..
i again asked him to leave me fr my parents..but he didnt wanted to leave me..
n so..wer'e together still...

wer'e together...lovin each othr deeply...
tht's all fine..but nothin is fine with me.
i guess...aftr v made love..he doesnt shw much interest as he used to before..
he started being arrogant..showin attitude n male ego...which he never used to in the past...
if i cry n make an issue, he tells sorry n all..but yet he keeps hurtin me constantly...he loves me but that "feelin" faded away in him.
i dunno y...maybe bcz i took the extreme step :(
he loves me a lot. but he's insecured at the same time.
he doesn't trust me but he masks it as "possessiveness"

my life's being totally ruined...
i lost the love my parents had on me...they treat me as if am some kind of weed...
they're nice. they're loving. but i lost the relationship i used to have with them
i lost peace of mind.
i lost everything...only bcz of love..yet..i continue to love him like a fool and take all his tantrums..
if i say i wanna walk out of this relation...he simply says " your wish"
he was the same guy who beseeched me like anything last year..
now it doesn't make any difference to him whether if i really exist or not.
he's not affected by the mistake even a bit...
i am the one to lose everything- parents,peace, everything!!
my only fault- loving him.
one day, i will lose him too. he loves me. thts it. no other feelin exists between us.
trust,patience,compassion,understandin...nothing exists. only that "love" exists.
that'll fade someday...
and ill get back to u guys wen tht happens..

all i wanted to say is tht...
girls...never make love wit ur guy bfr marriage.
it ruins u. only u.
my life's a perfect example of how a girl's life shouldn't be.
plz grls...love will b exciting wen he cares,bends his knees down,and treats u like a princess. but life will change totally after that disaster...
guys r guys. the "male ego" and "arrogance" will succumb them at any point of time...
however sweet the guy may appear to u, dont fall for him. its a warning to all of u.

and to those guys who read this...i knw ure angry at my comments...
but treat ur grl right. she's the one to care for u after your mother.
she loves u the most, ready to lose n sacrifice everything fr u..n only fr u.
plz do respect ur grl... try to understand wht she worries about.
try to b understandin n compassionate. she only expects love from u.
give it to her. its enough for her to be happy... not roses or rings.
i hope u understand my pain :-)

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