After six months, twenty-nine days, twelve hours, sixty minutes of searching his profile in the net, at last I found him. He was registered in a friendster account, composing with his 25 photos in Saudi Arabia, where he is currently working. I was excited, happy and annoy. I add him as my friend and praying that he will accept me. I started browsing all the information and looking at his pictures. He still looks good and now, his body is built well. I stared at him for a couple of minutes, then my heart begins to pump abruptly. I can't explain my feelings. Yeah, I am glad for seeing him after two years, but why does my heart keeps on pumping, telling my mind to think all the things we went through.

He added me as one of his friends. But never leave any comment or what....But, what for? After the pains that he suffered from me? what else he can say? Damn, i wanna post a comment for him but what will I say? It would be so stupid to say, hey,you! I've been searching in the net for my entire life just to say I love you still and damn, yeah I am deeply inlove with you though I am already married wiht someone.!!! Is that the things he wants me to say?

He was the only man whom I loved so much in my entire life... I just don't know why I was caught with someone else...I wanna hear him say that he still love me though I am already involved with someone. I know it's not easy, and it will never be easy....I must let him go because he deserves somebody much more than me....No matter how I love him, he will always be in my heart and will remain dearly and especiall here....deep within me....

My husband asked me if I still love him. I replied no, but my heart and mind answers yes, I love him and I will always love him for the rest of my life. But I don't want him the reason of our fight, I know its wrong to love him continuosly. I must be fair to my husband who really loves me and our child...I must stop this stupidity...I must stay away from him...