I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last
year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I
fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took
a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became
a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways.
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there
were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but
to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment
grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word
‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I
knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’
before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at
all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and
it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday,
before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday,
without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and
go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and
handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running
away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my
room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got
up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded
myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch
passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark…
he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look
at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he
suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me
to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out
happily.
Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving
it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then
I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he
just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone
so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone
else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb…
and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say
it easily… How could he…. I felt that…
Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just
continued handing me a little doll every morning outside
my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room…
everyday